No More JuJuBees Please

Since Halloween is just around the corner and more than a few of you will be passing out goodies to children dressed as Miley Cyrus and the Transformers, I wanted to share a few of my least favorite Halloween treats. I do not mean to offend so much as I mean to inform. If you want to be the most well loved person in your neighborhood, you do not pass out things like my first item, “Good & Plenty.” While you may love the taste of black licorice wrapped in soluble plastic, the average child does not. Next up is toothbrushes, often passed out by the dentists in the neighborhood. Dentists do great work, but why not take off one out of 365 nights in a year? Dentists will come in quite handy if a child attempts to digest the next “treat” called “JuJuBees.” It’s possible that this candy was invented so that people with reluctant children could rip out their children’s teeth without pliers or strings tied to door knobs.
I don’t think I went a single year by without me receiving the next two objects in my collection of holiday delights. The first is “Double Bubble.” If you’ve ever looked at a piece of chalk and wondered what it would be like if someone made bubble gum flavored like that piece of chalk and coated with the same white residue, you might be interested in trying “Double Bubble.” You can purchase a piece or two using dirty pennies, something else I’ve found among much more useful Halloween handouts. A good reason to use hand sanitizer, dirty pennies should be melted down and used to construct a husband for the statue of liberty (or at least a large copper dog).
It’s odd that we occasionally have high expectations for free gifts. I will probably revisit this subject when I think about all the Christmas gifts I was openly unhappy with as a child. There is even an expression for this common response: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” God has given us and continues to offer us many blessings. In the “Parable of the Talents” in Matthew 25, three men are trusted with varying amounts of resources. The last man, given the least, squanders what he is given and produces nothing from it. Enjoy what God has given to you and make the most of it!