I really wish fortune cookies would stop flattering me. A fortune I once read stated, "You have an open mind and find it easy to make new friends." I believe one from an urban area might respond with the phrase, "Stop playin’ me!" The next fortune is likely to be a cheap pick-up line such as: “You’re late. I've been waiting for you my entire life." The fortune might also say, "Are you tired? You've been running through my mind all day long." A relationship between a man and a cookie would never work out. Well, I suppose this could explain gingerbread men, E.L. Fudge, and other man-shaped cookies. Could animal crackers be the offspring of similar relationships?
How does one explain to a confection that he or she is already seeing someone? Do the words "Let's be friends" hurt a cookie as much as they hurt a human being? I bet cookies dunk themselves in milk when they get depressed. Maybe I need to start a dating service for cookies. I can set figs up with Newtons and cream up with Oreos. Maybe all together new confections will be born of my efforts! Forgive my food references as I have yet to partake of any food today. A more logical explanation for all this could be that the Chinese would like me to buy more of their food. First, it's MSG and the “being hungry an hour later” theory. Now, it’s coy cookies. Another conspiracy uncovered by Johnny Wriston, super sleuth. I am so having Chinese for lunch.
I believe that all of the positive statements made in scripture regarding Christians are absolutely true. We are not called “children of God” in 1 John 3:1 because God wants to entice us to join him. We are not called “new creations” in 2 Cor. 5:17 to get us to drop a little more cash in the collection plate. We are told that we “may participate in the divine nature” in 2 Pet. 1:4 because God wants to give us false hope. God’s love for us is real. The changes he makes in our lives are real. The rewards promised to us are real.
No comments:
Post a Comment