2010: ?

Wow, it seems like it’s been quite a while since I last sat down and cranked out an article. In the meantime between this article and the last, I’ve been thinking about the future. This is a typical and often dangerous habit of many. 2010 is nearly upon us and the future has not turned out quite the way many have predicted. “Project Plowshare” was an effort to use atomic explosions in large construction projects. (boston.com) Many predicted that if dynamite worked well for demolition, nukes would get the job done in a fraction of the time. Speaking of jobs, the 40-hour workweek, mandated during the Great Depression, was supposed to have been reduced to 30 or even 20 hours. It was once assumed that we’d be retiring around the time our first gray hairs started to appear.
Scientists, learning more and becoming more curious about animal behavior and even animal psychology, speculated that if could figure out the vocabulary, we’d be speaking to dolphins and whales. There are probably people out there that do believe they can speak fluent whale or dolphin. I predict that in 2010, these folks will not be invited to many dinner parties. They certainly won’t be arriving to the parties in flying cars, often thought to be the next logical leap forward in common transportation. Many hypothesized that there would also be more marriage choices in 2010, including polygamy. They came close, but will receive no cigar.
As I have mentioned in several past articles, we can’t predict the future and don’t need to spend nearly as time worrying about it as we do. Jesus gives some great instruction on how to deal with worry in Luke 12. He tells us to avoid greed, consider God’s provisions for all of his creatures, give to others, and seek out the kingdom of heaven. Our personal futures often don’t turn out the way we would like them to. In God, they don’t have to. “God works for the good of those that love him.” (Rom. 8:28)

Conniving Kittens

Today I read an article (cracked.com) that proves to me that cats are indeed maniacal masterminds bent on world domination. I was a little shocked to discover that some of my cat’s adorable actions serve more purposes than making me say, “awwww” or get out the camera for a YouTube video. A recent study (that’s how you know it’s serious) revealed that people can tell the difference between a cat’s average meow and a meow that is pleading for food. Apparently, there is a remarkable similarity in frequency between this soliciting meow and a human baby’s cry. Cats adjust their meow to manipulate us! Another fact that I found disturbing is that when a cat rubs itself against you, it is not showing affection. It’s marking ownership! Powerful scent glands that a cat uses for communication are located on the tail, the side of the body, and the face. When a cat rubs itself on you, it is leaving its unique scent.
Cats, like many other animals, employ mimicry as a form of defense. When a cat puts its ears down, shows its fangs, squints, and hisses, it is trying to resemble a snake. It’s a fact that just about every member of the animal kingdom fears snakes, not just Indiana Jones.
Finally, you may have seen or heard of cats bringing dead animals to their owners. This is not simply the presenting of a gift. Cats do the same thing to their young to provide training. When your cat drops a dead bird on your foot, it is telling you that you are a terrible hunter and need to learn to feed yourself. In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul talks about false apostles. There are quite a few people attempting to win our loyalty. Whether an affiliation is to a political party, church, or simply a brand name, we have to be discerning as individuals. Instead of accepting everything on a whim or at face value, we should carefully make sure that everything we do is according to God’s will. If we are not identifying the truth, we are looking at Satan as an innocent kitten.

Avoid Holiday Arguments

By the time many read this article, Thanksgiving will already have passed and their respective maws will be filled to the hilt. For those of you reading this post Thanksgiving, you might be able to use this information for future family gatherings. Detroit Free Press columnist Rochelle Riley and a couple others discussed how to avoid family fights during Thanksgiving by derailing various political arguments. For instance, one can lead a heated discussion of health care in to a conversation about Charla Nash, the woman injured in a chimp attack. She is currently awaiting a face transplant and learning how to live without hands or a face. Barack Obama is always a battleground, angering those who refer to themselves as either liberals or conservatives. If your family starts talking about an Obama, try to make it Michelle Obama, who with a 63% approval rating has started a garden, supported military families, and won Banana Republic on stage.
If the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan become a topic for discourse, try to put the focus on the respect we should have for the men and women serving overseas. Show your family videos of soldiers reuniting with their loved ones or their dogs. Finally, if Al Gore or the general subject of climate change comes up, lead the exchange towards the tornado chasing Henne family and the now famous “Balloon Boy.” At the very least your family will seem much more normal.
Satan feeds off of our arguments. He wants us to be split in to as many groups as possible. Ephesians 4:2-4 tells us be humble, gentle, and patient with each other. We are to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Paul brings unity up quite often. Paul tells Titus (in chapter 3) to remind people to submit to the government and “to be ready to do whatever is good.” We were saved by the kindness and love of our God when we least deserved it. We are to avoid arguments and instead do good to all of God’s people.

Electronic Polar Bears

I came across an odd story this morning from the Riverfront Times, a St. Louis new blog. Apparently, the St. Louis Zoo hasn’t had much good fortune in the area of polar bear longevity. The zoo’s last polar bear, Hope, was euthanized last April when veterinarians discovered she had cancer. In May 2005 a polar bear named Churchill ate a fatal amount of cloth and plastic. Churchill died during stomach surgery. Just five weeks after that, a bear named Penny died from infection. She had two dead fetuses inside of her uterus. Zoo officials didn’t know that she was pregnant. According to a commenter on Riverfront Times, zoo keepers can only observe the bears from about the same distance as visitors This is due to safety reasons and not the zoo’s negligence.
The very strange part of this story, which references a photo from the Post-Dispatch (Google it!), is that employees with James Trogolo Co. installed a family of electronic polar bears where the real bears once lived. I can’t decide if this act is in bad taste. Evidently, James Trigolo Co. installed the electronic bears to promote their holiday decorations. Due to a rebound in the sale of commercial decorations, James Trigolo Co. is opening a new office in downtown St. Louis (exciting stuff... I know).
The world should not have to be subjected to a pale imitation of Jesus Christ. When Paul said, “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ” in 1 Cor. 11:1, he wasn’t telling the church in Corinth to work on a good voice impersonation or to do a couple things like Jesus would. He was telling them to become an exact reflection of the character of Jesus. In 1 Cor. 12, Paul tells us that we are the body. The Spirit of God dwells in us and we are witnesses in every way that we allow the Spirit to be seen in us. (1 John 5:6-12). Too often we use our imperfection as a crutch or exit strategy. We all are able to be Jesus for people that have yet to get to know Him. Don’t wait for others to be Jesus.

Bi Bi's Dilemna

This week’s interesting news that leads to discussion of more spiritual matters comes to us from Victoria Australia. Sue Drummond was walking her maltese/shitzu mix on Brighton Pier when the dog was suddenly swept off the pier and in to the bay waters by a gust of wind. Drummond watched helplessly as the poor pooch, appropriately named Bi Bi (pronounced “bye bye”), struggled to stay afloat in the waves below her. A young man named Raden Soemawinata heroically stripped down to his skivvies and dove in to save the water logged canine. It was discovered by the “Herald Sun” that Soemawinata was at Brighton Pier to spread his grandmother’s ashes in to the bay. The humble hero stated, “It was pretty cold and windy, but it wasn’t such a hard decision to jump in.” He also said, “I’m a part-time model, so getting into my jocks isn’t so different to what I do for work.” Some fantastic photos tell the story better than I can. Google them at your earliest convenience. Be forewarned that the tasteful photos involve underwear.
To many, a dog in distress isn’t something that inspires much of an emotional response. Not having children and owning the first two dogs I have ever had the pleasure of caring for, I can certainly empathize with Sue Drummond’s plight. I would most definitely be in tears if one of my dogs fell in to a bay. I would jump in to rescue them, but I don’t think I’d be able to stand the embarrassment of dropping my pants to do so. If I was an angel at the time Jesus was sent to Earth, I would probably think to myself, “Why embarrass yourself to save pitiful, sinful creatures like men?” Even as a man it’s impossible to fully understand why the Son of God had to die for me. Who in heaven would miss a shaggy wet dog? God would. He loves us unconditionally and demonstrated His love in the greatest way possible. He gave His own life for sinners like you and I (Rom. 5:8). We should never fail to appreciate this gift.

Fast Food Christianity

Ever experience discomfort, weakness, or pain caused by a prolonged lack of food? This desire for food, known to the masses as "hunger," affects millions of Americans daily. The solution for a working individual such as myself is often visiting a local establishment known as a restaurant, pub, or "fast food joint." The experience associated with these ventures is always two-fold. The first part of the experience is the quality of the food, typically consisting of simple carbohydrates soaked in fatty oils. The second is the quality of the service. I've attempted to work my experience at "sandwich shops" such as Subway, Quiznos, and Blimpie's, down to a science. The "sandwich artist" typically asks,"What would you like on your sandwich sir?" to which I respond, "Everything except tomatoes and jalapenos." (for I believe tomatoes to be a forbidden fruit not to be ingested in their pure form) After this response I occasionally receive an expression of confusion, a long pause, and several questions such as "Do you want pickles?" and "So, you want tomatoes, right?" This is truly a great enigma. Does not the exclusion of certain items infer that the remaining sandwich toppings are acceptable?
We often apply the same “choose your toppings” ideology to our faith. We are only able to accept God in the right environments and under ideal conditions. Anything apart from these circumstances becomes difficult for us to grasp. James 1:17 tells us,“every good and perfect gift is from above.” We shouldn’t experience God exclusively in a church building or strictly among other Christians. Every thing that you have in life and every moment that you live is a gift from God and should be treated as such. These gifts are to be enjoyed with gratefulness and adoration directed towards their source. We might not always understand why we are presented with certain “toppings” in life. People are not going to act the way we want them to 100% of the time and we aren’t going to receive 100% of the things we wish for. According to Romans 8:28, God works for good when we give him 100% of our lives.

No More JuJuBees Please

Since Halloween is just around the corner and more than a few of you will be passing out goodies to children dressed as Miley Cyrus and the Transformers, I wanted to share a few of my least favorite Halloween treats. I do not mean to offend so much as I mean to inform. If you want to be the most well loved person in your neighborhood, you do not pass out things like my first item, “Good & Plenty.” While you may love the taste of black licorice wrapped in soluble plastic, the average child does not. Next up is toothbrushes, often passed out by the dentists in the neighborhood. Dentists do great work, but why not take off one out of 365 nights in a year? Dentists will come in quite handy if a child attempts to digest the next “treat” called “JuJuBees.” It’s possible that this candy was invented so that people with reluctant children could rip out their children’s teeth without pliers or strings tied to door knobs.
I don’t think I went a single year by without me receiving the next two objects in my collection of holiday delights. The first is “Double Bubble.” If you’ve ever looked at a piece of chalk and wondered what it would be like if someone made bubble gum flavored like that piece of chalk and coated with the same white residue, you might be interested in trying “Double Bubble.” You can purchase a piece or two using dirty pennies, something else I’ve found among much more useful Halloween handouts. A good reason to use hand sanitizer, dirty pennies should be melted down and used to construct a husband for the statue of liberty (or at least a large copper dog).
It’s odd that we occasionally have high expectations for free gifts. I will probably revisit this subject when I think about all the Christmas gifts I was openly unhappy with as a child. There is even an expression for this common response: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” God has given us and continues to offer us many blessings. In the “Parable of the Talents” in Matthew 25, three men are trusted with varying amounts of resources. The last man, given the least, squanders what he is given and produces nothing from it. Enjoy what God has given to you and make the most of it!